


El Día Que Me Quieras

by Isabelu_u



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Andres asks him to sing it, Dreams vs. Reality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Getting Together, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Martin hums a sweet song, Tango, gonna get yall listening to tango in 2020, light implications of a turbulent childhood, this turned out so cute please read it i cried real tears writing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27467764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabelu_u/pseuds/Isabelu_u
Summary: "It's a very famous tango so you definitely heard it at least once." He smiles back, a knowing gaze counterattacking.Andrés's grin doesn't move an inch. He elegantly takes his left hand out of his pocket and places it over his heart "I swear I didn't"
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 13
Kudos: 40





	El Día Que Me Quieras

**Author's Note:**

  * For [colorfulcharades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorfulcharades/gifts).



> "I love you always like the first time  
> I love you always the first time"
> 
> -Juan Gelman-

They were driving at night on a dark road, a kind that reminded Martín of a road trip to Necochea at some point of his childhood. Those memories are still a blur, still come more like a soft déjà vu to him, and he really feels glad for it most of the time. Yet Andrés is beside him, behind the wheel, so this must be Europe. 

He's gorgeous, there's something about his eyes while he's driving that just makes Martín's heart skip a beat or two. How focused, how calm, as his hands command delicately the engine, so effortlessly and relaxed. He's on his warm black coat, his leather gloves griping the wheel firmly. Martín's eyes caress the fingers when he hears him speak. 

“Did you have a nice rest? You were sleeping so well I didn't dare wake you up at ten, besides I'm still feeling well ” 

So he was sleeping, it could explain his confusion. He looks out the window for any sign of their path or destination, but it's all dark, all pure clear darkness, no moon not even stars, just the asphalt lit around them by the car lights, as if they were suspended in space, travelling an endless road. 

“Where…” He dares ask, finally. 

“Where are we going, Andrés?” 

The dark eyes look back at his with a teasing smile 

“You were really sleeping deep, weren't you?” and before Martín can consider a retort, he continues. 

"We're going to see my little brother, we even bought presents for him don't you remember?" He moves his head slightly towards the backseat, where bags and boxes from expensive stores wait to be opened by his spoiled hermanito. 

And Martin smiles, he loves this side of him so much. 

"Woah…so many this time! Did you do something Andrés?" 

And the question is a joke at first but the silence that follows makes it real. 

Andrés keeps his eyes on the dark road, smile getting a bit colder with anxious thoughts. 

"I…have something to tell him…" and more silence. 

When he hears Martin's mouth opening to speak he continues. 

"I should probably tell you too" 

And Martín isn't ready 

"I think… I'm… I might be gay…" 

His heart stops inside his chest. The air no longer fills his lungs. 

\---- 

He was humming an old song absentmindedly, cleaning an equation of the blackboard with a smile on his lips. His mind kept replaying that hopeful moment over and over, focusing so detailedly in Andres gaze, in the way his lips curved in a secret delicate smile aimed just at him, how his heart was filled with endless possibilities for that feeling he's kept hidden in his chest for so long. 

Waking up from the dream had been painful, but what had stayed in Martin's mind all the while since he stepped out of bed was the way his heart had tasted freedom. Even for a few seconds, he lived what it'd be like to exist in a world where Andres could actually love him, and to Martin it was so much. It felt like it was everything. 

He noticed the song in the back of his mind and smiled with amused recognition. 

_So fitting_

It was normal for his thoughts to drift to the exact song he needed. His connection with music like a mystical door to his subconscious, always finding the exact words, the exact feelings. And of course it was a tango. 

_A hopeful one, the most hopeful one he knows._

\---- 

Andrés keeps his eyes hard on the road as he speaks 

"I know it might make no sense because I've been in love with so many women but… I guess I have come to terms with some memories of my past… and I need to tell Sergio…" 

Martin's mind is completely messy, possessed by his words being repeated over and over again in his mind 

_Then I have a chance_

Martin's heart starts speculating, spiralling into thrilling scenarios where he has him, where he confesses, where Andrés accepts his advances and let's him be closer than he's ever been. His mind is dizzy with the feeling of Andrés being possible, and the dark cloud that made him unreachable for years now dissapears like a mist with just a few words. His hands are shaking with impatience, needing to move to him immediately, to tell him right then and there, and Andrés is looking right at him since he said those words, he's looking right at his eyes, he's calling him. 

Drowning in that beautiful feeling he woke up. And reality hurt like falling against hard asphalt from a eleventh floor. Yet he can't stop smiling. 

Sometimes dreams are too sweet to be left on our pillows, and even through the motions of the day we carry their little pieces close to our heart. Martín's heart knew exactly how dangerous hope was, and yet clinging to this dreaming was so necessary for him. It was like being alive. 

The humming of the song that kept circling his brain became a bit louder. Even the melody had a sweet taste. The lyrics still quietly clinging to his lips tasted even sweeter. 

This was his fuel. It had been for so many years already. Daydreaming about Andrés's love and hoping were Martín's natural skills, part of a bubble of love that was only for himself to hide into and would remain like that forever. And yet... 

"Well well! Someone's in a good mood today, did something happen last night?” 

The voice behind him makes Martín's heart jump inside his chest. He feels his cheeks reddening in seconds. He heard him humming, and even though Martín loves singing he can be incredibly shy when he isn't expecting an audience. 

Last night? Martín's mind focuses a few seconds to remember what he's talking about. Oh right, he went to a bar last night. Andrés told him he had a date and he immediately decided he'd go out too, told him right then about it even. It was so pathetic and boring, Martín was glad the dream had made him forget about last night. 

Still he can't give him more teasing weapons so he doesn't turn around, he continues writing on the blackboard, leaning his head a little to his side to acknowledge his presence. 

His voice still shivers with surprise though 

"Ohh you were there, Andrés? Next time you want to hear me sing you can just ask…" 

He won't acknowledge the question, he wants him to ask again. He knows it'll just make him more curious. 

And his voice starts getting closer as the steps approach the blackboard 

"Ohhh I'll certainly keep that offer in mind" he teased, and Martín could feel the smirk on his lips as if he was seeing him. He smiled back, still pretending to be focused on the equations. 

He felt him stopping a few feet behind him, just enough for his presence to be felt, enough for Martín's back to tingle with the need to have him closer. 

His voice brings his mind back to reality again. 

"Really, was there anyone interesting last night? This morning you're glowing brighter than the sun, Martín" 

And Martín's heart welcomes the questions every time because they feed his impossible hope. They feel like a glimpse at a side of Andrés he's not even sure Andrés knows exists, and his dreams cling to them the hardest. 

He turns to look at his inquiring face, like every time this happens, and like every time his teasing smile and gentle, fragile, anxious dark eyes are fixed on him. He wants to lie, like every time too, he wants to see just how far does his curiosity go, but he's seen it before. There's no sudden confessions, no desperate kisses. There's nothing but frustration hidden behind a smile, encouraging words and then silence. Martín hates that sight. 

So he turns to the blackboard again and he's just honest. 

"No, always the same faces. You'd think such a gorgeous artistic city should have more gays and yet I think I already met them all" 

Martín speaks, and with just a furtive look he sees it again. The way Andrés's shoulders relax almost imperceptibly, his eyes mellowing at the words. He wants to stop him right there. He wants to turn and ask directly what that is, what the hell does it even mean. Those seconds are threatening his sanity and his heart each time, they keep that impossible hope alive, they keep him here, like this, guessing and hoping, living only inside dreams. 

He won't do it though. His dream is to sweet to bet over a softening gaze. 

Andrés asks again, his voice still curious but now playfully so. 

"Ohh! Then what's making you so happy this morning?" 

Martín knows what comes after, and he welcomes it so much, a language they both share, where they can forget everything, a daydream perfect for them both. He turns to look at him with a loving smile and points with a gentle glance at the blackboard 

"If you pay attention to what I'm working on, maybe you'll notice" 

And like that, in a second, they both relax into the soft creative rhythm they're so comfortable with, that feels like home and peace, like happiness. 

Martín works faster when he thinks of them, when his heart climbs to these clouds and let's itself be moved by the wind, picturing exact moments, exact features in Andrés face. How would it look to be there? surrounded by gold, how would he look there? 

They work passionately, without missing a beat, and the image in his heart gets clearer, his mind sees no limits for it. 

How could there be a limit when it's him? What sort of limit could ever exist for someone as unique and precious as Andrés de Fonollosa? Maybe if Martín were alone there would be, but for someone as brilliant and determined as him there couldn't be such a thing. 

The day goes by like any other, seeing Andrés moving through the room, like dancing with his thoughts excitedly. His own fingers drying with the chalk as he makes notes and calculations, results stimulating Andrés's imagination even further, beaming eyes shining brighter and brighter. 

The song keeps playing in the back on his mind, but he won't sing it. 

_Can this be mine forever? Just this. Just with this is okay._

_I just need this to be forever._

\------- 

Night was slowly approaching, already tiring down the colors on the walls of the old monastery. Sunlight in their small chapel already so dim, ready to dissapear and yet they had barely noticed, as excited in their work as they were. 

When Martín's head starts hurting a little while trying to read the numbers he just wrote, he rubs his eyes and finally notices the darkness that was slowly surrounding them. Andrés was sitting quietly near the window now, looking outside but clearly lost inside his mind. 

Martín moves gingerly around the room, lighting the candles and lamps one by one. It's always such a warm sight, how they fill their quiet space with those glowing yellow hues. 

_So romantic._

Martín shakes his head slightly at the thought, and his eyes find Andrés's shape again. He's resting his head on the window frame, last caresses of the sun over his cheeks, eyes seemingly staring even further away than the horizon. Martín's eyes stare too, but they choose to focus on the way the thin red turtleneck sweater outlines his chest so effortlessly, how it defines his waist. In this intimate light he looks so incredibly close, and Martín feels the song sitting impatiently over his lips. 

_But he knows he won't sing it._

His jacket is resting on the back of a chair. He takes it relaxedly and lets his fingers dig into the pockets in search of his wallet. When he finds it he smiles softly to himself. 

"I'm hungry. I'll go out to eat something" 

And Andrés barely nods, mind still swimming freely in the darkening sky outside. He turns to leave, thinking it was a gorgeous day, thinking it was such a precious gift, it was enough. 

"Martín" 

He sounds tired, but relaxed too, and Martín's feet stop immediately the walk they were already regretting. He turns back to look at him. 

He's standing by the window, looking at him with a sweet, amused smile. 

"You thought you'd escape that easily?" 

And as the smile grows with Martín's baffled expression, he walks closer, hands on his pockets, mischievous eyes flickering with unknown purpose. 

"You said… I just had to ask…" 

Martín's mind rewinds his day in astonished confusion, and then it comes, the teasing words in the morning. He can't believe Andrés would bring them back to him now. 

His posture relaxes and he leans his head to the side a little, trying so hard to understand. 

_Could it be?_

"You…?" 

Andrés is standing in front of him, daring smile taking over Martín's every thought. 

"That song…you were humming… it sounded so beautifully intriguing… and I'm curious now I wanna hear it" 

A few seconds passed were they just stared at each other, as Martín’s mind completely assessed what was happening, and even then he only managed to smile back in disbelief. 

_It felt like getting caught._

"Now?" 

He answered gently, too gently, maybe giving away too much. 

"Why not? You said I just had to ask, besides I don't think I can survive the night without knowing what song it is" 

And he smiles, he moves back a little and leans on the table, getting comfortable for the performance. 

Martín's hands go naturally to his own hips, thoughts still in dissaray as he stares back at the cause of it all, the true beginning of everything. 

_He's smiling so beautifully._

_A challenge._

"Well…" Martín leaves his jacked over the back of a chair. He's definitely staying for it. He won't back away from that smile. No matter how dangerous. 

"It's a very famous tango so you definitely heard it at least once." He smiles back, a knowing gaze counterattacking 

Andrés's grin doesn't move an inch, he elegantly takes his left hand out of his pocket and places it over his heart "I swear I didn't" 

Martin's eyes keep searching for the meaning of his request and yet he knows it must be just to joke with him. Still he plays along. 

"There was a movie about it even, the great Carlos Gardel sang it for the yanquis at Paramount in a duet with Rosita Moreno back in 1935" 

He feels himself relaxing as he explains, his smile turning confident and his hands expressing naturally. He feels he will be able to do this if he stays in this mindset. If he manages. 

"Oh dear, this turned out educational, what was the movie about?" And yet Andrés's sly smile just looks more and more entertained with every second of this. 

He makes an almost imperceptible pause, steadies himself for the words. 

"It was about a forbidden love" 

He glances back at his curious dark eyes. _He didn't notice._

"Ohhh…" _Or maybe he did?_

Martín doesn't doubt a second, he can't show more. 

"Between a son of a wealthy businessman and a modest girl" 

It's almost as if he can see the movie playing before them, the black and white figures, the dramatic dialogues. He's back at his old home, that small apartment in Belgrano with the tall windows, the tired cathode ray tube tv trying to show the actors singing through the static. 

"Their love story… is sweet but sad… there's many iconic scenes…" 

He can't go too far on that memory, he doesn't want to. He keeps the movie in his heart though. Maybe one day he could write a new memory for it. 

"…and I won't spoil it for you." 

Andrés’s grin shines back at him, as if he heard the invitation. 

"Perfect! Keep curiosity burning in the audience!" 

His eyes are so full of sweetness, the kind he usually sees in quick glances as they work, and feeling them so constant and attentive at his every move is making Martín lose every sense of reality. 

"It's called…The day that you love me" 

His pulse just keeps rising; and yet the audience is completely silent and expectant. Resting against the table, legs slightly crossed, hands on his pockets, unreadable smile; eager to know what's hidden behind the gentle notes he hummed. He can't go back anymore. 

"And it goes something like this…" 

He inhales, and it's like he's breathing for the first time. 

And the words are timid, scared, so fragile, fearing to jump out of his lips. Yet he closes his eyes to set them free. 

Because freedom is so scary 

_"Caresses my dream_

_The small murmur_

_of your soft sighs"_

But it's so gorgeous, so incredibly thrilling. 

_"How life smiles_

_If your dark eyes_

_Want to look at me"_

He keeps his eyes closed, just focusing on the words, calling the melody all the way from a rusty radio in Buenos Aires to his ears, and finally to his lungs. 

_"and if it's mine the protection_

_Of your light laughter_

_That's like a song"_

He feels the words heavy on his heart, each second sounding clearer, more exposing. His heartbeat a mess. His cheeks starting to burn. He twirls his fingers delicately in the air as he sings, wrapping the words around them, trying to hold them in a short leash. 

_"It calms my wound"_

The words are pulling harder. Moving to the one in front of him. He can feel his eyes focused in him so much. He feels so weak against that heavy, overwhelming, burning presence. 

_"Everything, everything is forgotten"_

He opens his eyes. And the grin is gone. Andrés is looking at him with eyes he's never seen before. Is there concern there? Maybe sadness? Pity? Martín can't tell and doesn't dare look again to know. He's most certain that he's seeing the mess he's becoming, that he's understanding. 

He focuses on his hands, and feels a tear rolling down his cheek. 

_"The day when you love me_

_The rose that decorates_

_Will dress itself up_

_In the brightest of colors."_

They were in a dark road. Driving through their night. 

_"And the bells will say_

_To the wind that you are mine,_

_And the fountains will go crazy_

_Talking about your love."_

There was no moon not even stars. 

He feels the silhouette in front of him moving slightly, but he won't look. He has to finish the song first. 

_"The night that you love me_

_From the blue heavens_

_The jealous stars_

_Will see us walk by."_

He feels his throat tight in the high notes. More tears falling. 

_"And a mysterious ray of light_

_Will make a nest in your hair"_

All the hope in his heart. All the hope is overflowing. Unstoppable. 

He feels the silhouette moving. 

_"Curious fireflies that will see"_

He fucked up. He fucked everything up. 

_"That you are my solace."_

He barely manages to breathe out the last words. His hands that waited so long finally can hide his crying face from him. He can't. He shouldn't have shown him this. He shouldn't ever have. 

_There was no path, no destination. They were floating in space. What made him think such a dream could be true?_

He feels the harsh sobs shaking him so much. He's making a horrible scene of himself and yet he can't fucking stop. 

He never notices his presence approaching. Only when he reaches to touch his shoulder. 

"Martín…" 

His voice is so sweet, too sweet. It feels pitiful. 

He can't look at him like this. 

"Shh… Martín… don't cry…" 

If he looks up and Andres is looking at him like he's a pathetic idiot, then what? 

His hands rest over Martín's so delicately, they caress his cheek. 

_They're so warm._

"Look at me… Martín… Look at me…" 

His voice is stronger than him. It carried him through so much. 

He feels him taking his hands off his face. Feels him lifting up his chin. Martín’s eyes remain shut tight. 

_What world awaits him when he opens them?_

"Open your eyes, Martín" 

He feels the dream disappearing, he feels so small. Like a child that doesn't want to see, that doesn't want to know. But reality keeps knocking, and he knows just how gorgeous it could be. 

He opens his eyes and Andrés is right in front of him, so close. His teary eyes smiling the most tender smile he's ever seen. 

"Your eyes are so beautiful, Martín" 

He whispers so close to his lips, so deep to his heart. 

"It will be like that…" 

Martín can't focus on one thing anymore. His eyes, his warm hands, his voice. 

"So please don't cry anymore" 

And then his eyes close, and he leans forward. And Martín is definitely dreaming now. 

Dreaming of a touch of the softest lips he's ever felt, of the most electric hands that have ever ran through his hair. 

It must be a dream, because when the kiss deepens he hears the song echoing in the room, and yet it's so real he knows this time he won't let himself wake up. 

As long as he's allowed in it, he won't leave this dream no matter what. 

_"The day when you love me_

_The songbird will sing_

_More sweetly than ever._

_Life will bloom,_

_And pain will not exist."_

**Author's Note:**

> oMG THANK YOU MUCH FOR READING I'M SO NERVOUS I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!! 
> 
> This is my first fic for this fandom and I wanted to try my best and aaaa if you liked it please tell me in the comments I'm thinking it could have a continuation I mean the ending is so openn to posibilitiesssss 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone that endured my crying over this specially to colorfulcharades aaaaa this took me so looong, I hope it was good enough and lived up to the hype XDD
> 
> English isn't my first language so if there are any mistakes I apologize so much I'll keep doing my best!! 
> 
> I'm AWildMuppet on twitter and I plan to write more for this fandom soon so come follow me if you liked this!!
> 
> ALSO AAAAA I'LL PUT A LINK TO THE SONG HEREEE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYAaA34YzUU  
> AAAAAA I'LL POST IT ON TWITTER TOO TT__TT
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING, I PROMISE NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER!!!


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